Run Lola Run

"Man... probably the most mysterious species on our planet. A mystery of unanswered questions. Who are we? Where do we come from? Where are we going? How do we know what we think we know? Why do we believe anything at all? Countless questions in search of an answer... an answer that will give rise to a new question... and the next answer will give rise to the next question and so on. But, in the end, isn't it always the same question? And always the same answer?"

Our life can be altered by 20 seconds, by people we meet, by sequence of events....This is what the movie is all about.

My last lesson in the last day of 2009

My dad appeared on the new year eve dressed with a joyful smile. Our kids looked up at him and asked Sido why you are putting a flower in your pocket? He answered: “It is new year & I am wearing a new shirt as well, look... ” Do you want to smell the flower?

At that moment it hits me …. I ceased to really celebrate personal special days like my birthdays, valentine, new year, anniversaries. I have no longer joy in these days!

How I allowed myself to reach this stage! Am I depressed! Lost interest in life! Have no passion for life! Are all days the same!

I looked at dad again, he is much older than me; he is the one who should be depressed from all he went through & saw in his 69 years. Yet, he still celebrates new year from his heart.

My last lesson in the last day of 2009... I won't let what's so ever to deprive me from the joy of my special days. The joy is inside me, its a mental status, I control it.

I'll make sure that my resolutions for 2010 to include:

• Celebrating my birthday regardless of old memories & who is there to celebrate it;
• Celebrating new years with the joy of anticipating a new good days to come;
• Making sure to remember anniversaries when I fall in love again;
• Giving myself a gift on special occasions;
• & not to be with who stopped celebrating life.

Grieving Process Based on Newton's Law of Motion

Before I start my mumbling about grieving I want to share a couple of thoughts to establish a common background;

1- Grieving is not about who left who or what is the effect on the one who is been dumped.

2- Grieving process do not apply on me as some of its stages are irrelevant ; denial, bargaining, and acceptance. A rule I live by; you can't give orders to love. Hence, whatever I decide or my other significant decides is accepted as it is, without denial or bargaining,

3- We live in a continuous circle of love/loss. I am not sure if I will envy you, if you have just loved/lost once in your life. We become who we are of what we experience in our limited time.

So back to my major issue of this year Grieving.

I always thought I don't digest well specially when it comes to pain... I thought it takes me long time to acknowledge my loss that's why I have no immediate reaction. After a couple of major losses in my life I finally realized my personal grieving process. I follow Newton's law of motion. Don't prejudge me wait. I am still not hallucinating. One of Newton's law of motion is “For every action there is a reaction equal in magnitude and opposite direction”. When someone like me savor every moment in life & lives it to the fullest, it is normal to grieve each savored moment.

That is the philosophical background. It reflects how deep I am!

To make it simple what I mean by “grieving Newton's way” in layman words:

For every first time after my loss …I pack my gym bag I will remember every bag we packed & the discussion we had over what we missed and I will cry;

For every first time after my loss …I see a blue city I will wish that my X is with me and I will cry;

For every first time after my loss …I forget to bring my towel in the shower I will call my X and remember there is no one to bring it and I will cry;

For every first time after my loss …I eat a tuna in whatever variety it is cooked I will think how my X will drip on it and I will cry;

For every first time after my loss …I hear thunder I will experience the fear of my X and I will cry;

For every first time after my loss …I pump my head in cupboard because I forgot to close it, I will hear my X saying “You would never learn to close them” and I will cry;

For every first time after my loss …I go shopping my eye will catch what my X loves and I will cry;

For every first time after my loss …I remember our future plans, dreams I wonder which one I still want and I will cry;

My X birthday comes, I'd remember how every previous birthday was celebrated, wish secretly my X happiness and I will cry;

For my first New Year after my loss... I will remember our embrace, kiss and wish I won't cry any more.

May we all as long we are breathing be able to give & receive love no matter who and what we lost.

I Raise My Hands Up & Ask Humbly

May I always be able to spread love & goodness;
May I always find happiness & joy in small things in life;
May my eyes are set on the inner beauty of human beings;
May I realize when I can swim with the flow & when to swim against it;
May I find the strength to focus on the good in my life and master shifting myself out of worry & negativity;
May I have free spirit to travel new paths;
May I choose my life in independence of what others think;
May I always find the way to grow and evolve;
May I find joy in who I become and the trip that is taking me there;
May I have a pure soul not contaminated with jealousy and/or greed whether it is money or power;
May I be humble yet assertive;
May I always chant the gratitude prayer.

Please help me to find home & my passion in life.

Prejudicial Questions & Reel Bad Arabs

Since I started to travel & living abroad, I was constantly been asked “nana questions!”, it took me some time not to be insulted & to find my way of answering in calm, logical tone & yes... showing respect to the other person ignorance.

I can't recall in this moment all sort of questions, what comes to my mind are:

• How come an Arabic lady can travel alone?
• Are you vegetarian because you are a Muslim?
• Why you are not wearing a veil?
• Do you dress like this or only because you are abroad? When you go back to your country are you going to dress differently?
• Why you have suicide-bombers who kill innocent Israelis?
• No way, you have Arabs who are Christians?
• How come you are educated?
• Do you have normal streets & buildings?
• Do you ride camels?
• How many wives your father has?
• We have Indian TV channels, it is not Arabic?
• Where is Palestine? Ah you mean Israel...

No wonder I would be approached with all these questions if Hollywood alone produced around 920 movie which portray degrading images of Arabs women & men. These movies did play a major role in formulating prejudicial attitudes toward Arabs, Arabic culture & civilization. They managed to rob an entire people of their humanity & portray them as terrorist, savage, & uncivilized. “Reel Bad Arabs How Hollywood Vilifies a People” reveals how Arabs have been portrayed and how Hollywood has played a major role in creating anti-Arab culture & Islamophobia around the world. I recommend reading the book or watching this 50 minute documentary.

Maybe if these movies stop this type of bad portray, people will start to learn & accept the cultural differences. This what actually happens when Europeans & Americans come to our side of the world; they enjoy being with us. Enjoy our hospitality, generosity, kindness, social ties, knowledge, sense of humor, etc.. They think dressing in Bedouin cloth & riding camels is cool. They fall in love with our nature; sea, mountains, valleys, and desert. They become curios to learn about the culture and civilization that is behind all these great monuments they see around.

Maybe, mabye ...

One day when I travel I could be engaged in discussions that will involve how Arabs came up with number "Zero", how valuable is our soap invention to humanity, what our contribution in Math, Medicine, Astronomy, etc...