I Raise My Hands Up & Ask Humbly

May I always be able to spread love & goodness;
May I always find happiness & joy in small things in life;
May my eyes are set on the inner beauty of human beings;
May I realize when I can swim with the flow & when to swim against it;
May I find the strength to focus on the good in my life and master shifting myself out of worry & negativity;
May I have free spirit to travel new paths;
May I choose my life in independence of what others think;
May I always find the way to grow and evolve;
May I find joy in who I become and the trip that is taking me there;
May I have a pure soul not contaminated with jealousy and/or greed whether it is money or power;
May I be humble yet assertive;
May I always chant the gratitude prayer.

Please help me to find home & my passion in life.

What & Where Is Home?

There are certain subjects/issues people want to understand and it captures their attention to extent it becomes a quest in their life. Some are puzzled to know what is: love; death; after life, God. Me, I have been always puzzled about home...
I have been asking many people to tell me what do they consider a home. I heard a lot of descriptions. I guess as most things in life, home is a relative concept and feeling.

Is it a place we belong to! is it just a place where we have our stuff in! is it a place that is arranged in a comfortable way! is it a person! is it where we grow up! is it where we have precious memories! is it where we want to go back to when we are sick/tired/down!

I don't Know...

What puzzles me is not just the definition of a home but why no place feels like home! That's why I look for home definition because I believe if you don't know what you are looking for how you will recognize it.


But, do we need to feel there is a place we call home? If we don't have a place called home would we go in life loose? Floating around without a sense of belonging. Why do we need to belong? Is home a place we start from & go back to!

Mending My Relationship with Amman

I left 6.5 years ago with wounds & pain and a decision to heal, become a better person and most importantly to start over a fresh life. I knew long time ago that my healing was not complete... I am not in peace with Amman; with the place I grow up in. Simply because Amman for me has been nothing but its kind people. I ended up associating Amman with lost relations and friends, unfulfilled dreams, and painful memories.

For the first months I have stayed here this year, my resentment for the place and rejection to stay was increasing. The tiniest idea of settling back here made my heart heavy and my body gave out all the signs of refusing. I felt it badly.
Almost two month ago I was lucky to meet new people who are unconsciously helping me to re- associate my memories of Amman in a new and joyful way. I started to reestablish a new relationship with things I used to adore and lost along the way, though they are simple but they are … em em … warm, part of me, shaped my character and I missed them a lot.

They are as simple as eating what is available in the season bateekh o jibneh (water melon and white cheese), 7amleh (grilled green chickpeas), Turmus & much more food :-). Interacting and hanging out with people who speak my language, use our funny expressions and terms (min elakher, 6yneh), laugh loud, listen to Fairouz in the mornings and Um Kalthoum at night. gossip, generous, fight and care about each other. How much we (Arabs) differ from other cultures when it comes to interacting with people!

All these simple things are formulating a fresh perspective of place I once called home. For this I am grateful.

Collecting As A Hobby

I have been always amazed of people assembling collection of just about anything; mugs, shots, rubbers, pencils, stones, matches, etc... I wonder if it gives them a sense of security or it is an expression of an emotional status.

I am not a fan of collections, I feel that by collecting I will become attached. With attachment I am immobile, I am stuck. I have to fit what I love in my bag. If it doesn't then it is not mine!

After giving this speech.....

I now collect magnets from different corners of this world, they give glimpses to the things that caught my attention in the country I am visiting. I have no idea when or how it started.
And I am not sure if I am attached to them? If I am stuck? I hope not. I just collect them for the fun & pleasure of coloring my dull metal door at home :-)

My collection is nice but it is not comparable with the Magnet Lady who owns 29,000 magnets as of February 2002 according to the British "Book of alternative records". I don't want to compete with her not even in my wildest dreams.