I Believe...

I enjoyed reading "I Believe", but I omitted some parts which I don't believe in and reorder them on a personal relevance.

I believe-
that we are responsible for what we do,
no matter how we feel.

I believe-
that our background and circumstances
may have influenced who we are,
but we are responsible for who we become.

I believe-
that it's taking me a long time
to become the person I want to be.



I believe-
that you can keep going
long after you can't.

I believe-
that it isn't always enough to be
forgiven by others. Sometimes you
have to learn to forgive yourself.

I believe-
that credentials on the wall
do not make you a decent human being. 


I believe-
that sometimes when I'm angry
I have the right to be angry,
but that doesn't give me
the right to be cruel.



I believe-
that no matter how bad your heart is broken
the world doesn't stop for your grief.

I believe-
that two people can look at the exact
same thing and see something totally.
different.

I believe-
that your life can be changed in a matter of
hours by people who don't even know you.

I believe-
that even when you think you have no more
to give, when a friend cries out to you
you will find the strength to help.


I believe-
that you can do something in an instant
that will give you heartache for life.

I believe-
that we don't have to change friends
if we understand that friends change.


I believe-
that either you control your attitude
or it controls you.

I believe-
that no matter how good a friend is,
they're going to hurt you every
once in a while and you must forgive
them for that.

I believe-
that true friendship continues to grow,
even over the longest distance.
Same goes for true love.

I believe-
that you should always leave loved ones
with loving words. It may be the last
time you see them.

I believe-
that regardless of how hot and
steamy a relationship is at first,
the passion fades and there had
better be something else to take
its place.

I believe-
that heroes are the people
who do what has to be done
when it needs to be done,
regardless of the consequences.

I believe-
that money is a lousy way of keeping score.

I believe-
that my best friend and I can do anything
or nothing and have the best time.

I believe-
that just because someone doesn't love
you the way you want them to doesn't
mean they don't love you with all they have.

I believe-
that maturity has more to do with
what types of experiences you've had
and what you've learned from them
and less to do with how many
birthdays you've celebrated.

I believe-
that just because two people argue,
it doesn't mean they don't love each other
And just because they don't argue,
it doesn't mean they do.

Rumi - Only Breath

Not Christian or Jew or Muslim, not Hindu,
Buddhist, sufi, or zen. Not any religion
or cultural system.
I am not from the East...or the West, not out of the ocean or up
from the ground, not natural or ethereal, not composed of elements at all.
I do not exist,  am not an entity in this world or the next,
did not descend from Adam and Eve or any  origin story. 
My place is placeless, a trace of the traceless. Neither body or soul.
I belong to the beloved, have seen the two worlds as one and that one call to and know,
first, last, outer, inner, only that breath breathing human being.
There is a way between voice and presence where information flows
In disciplined silence it opens. 
With wandering talk it closes.

Love Relationship Themes

If we pause and contemplate on each relations we had as adults, we will figure out that each one has a central issue about it. Each theme holds a different suffering to go through. I am sure there are more themes but at least what I am aware of are:

Begging Theme
I love you, I will do anything for you
I love you, please stay
I love you, I will never love again like I love you
I love you, I will take good care of you
I love you, please don't go

Hurt Theme
I love you but please stop doing XXX it hurts me
I love you but please I am not feeling well of doing XXX
I love you could we please not do this any more
I love you but I can't take it any more
I love you but please give me space

Shame Theme
I love you but I can't stay with you
I love you but my belief & values don't allow me to be with you
I love you but what we are doing is wrong
I love you but my family, friends, neighbors will start to talk
I love you but I feel ashamed of us
I love you but my guilt is larger than my love

I Don't Care Theme
I love you but I am not interested in whatever you are interested in
I love you but can I watch TV now
I love you but I can't join you at your parents dinner
I love you but I have work to do
I love you but sorry I did not get you anything for your birthday

Sexless Theme
I love you but don't kiss me
I love you but I don't feel like making love tonight
I love you but could you just hug me
I love you but I don't know why I can not touch you

Some could be totally unlucky to experience two themes in the same relations; then their agony & hurt is doubled. But most cases will be a mix of one of the above themes & Love theme.
Any how, each theme teach us a lesson and gives us more insight of what we want in life.


p.s.
I left the Love theme till then then because it is my day dream one :-)

Love Theme
I love you.... I love you too
I care about you..... I care more
I want you.... I can't take my hands off you
I want to go out with my friends... I want to visit my parents
I am coming home early... my my what a romantic dinner
I want to join you @ your parents dinner... I want to be with you when you pick your sister
I want to leave my Job... I will help you finding a better one
I miss you... I will pick you up
I will pick the laundry... I will cook
I will massage your back.... could you please do my head too
Where will we travel this year?....em em China
Dance with me? .... I melt in your arms
You make me laugh.. you bring me joy
What do you think is a proper reaction... I guess you'll have to apologize
What is your new fantasy? .... To be a :-) to do :-)

I guess my definition of  Love is a tango of friendship filled with passion & lived with romantic moments.

I go back to my day dream.

Enjoy the Silence

Please read:

Writteninformationwithnoorganisedbreaksmakescomprehensiondifficult

Wellplannedtextwithgoodsentenceandparagraphconstructionwillaidthe readersabilitytounderstandtheinformationtherein.

Was it easy to read? to digest? to comprehend?

This is exactly how we do feel when we don't take any mental break in day(s)/ weeks/ months/ years. We lose connections with our inner self, we don't have enough time to digest & reflect on what is going on with our life, or in which areas we are changing, what are our values, the worse it to reach a point where we ask ourselves who we are?!

Now, here is the same sentence with organised breaks …
Written information, with no organised breaks, makes comprehension difficult. Well-planned text, with good sentence and paragraph construction, will aid the reader's ability to understand the information therein.

I bet it is much easier to read and digest without stress.

These breaks between words are silence... Silence is ssssssssssssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhh; no chats, no TV, no radio... It could be by laying down before bed or staying in bed early upone wake up, or while watching sunset. Silence has no settings or position.
In silence there is an opportunity to observe thoughts and examine what pops up whether they are ideas, concerns, worries, people, emotions, etc.. Silence is a meter for examining life. Sometimes, after the silence agitation could be experienced, meditation & breathing could be used to return the inner self to peace & serenity status.





May we enjoy the silence.

Adapted from http://www.positivepath.net/ideasCJ7.asp

What are you, a raw egg, a jelly or an onion?

After writing my last post "An Onion Model for Relationships Management", I found this article http://www.positivepath.net/ideasCJ9.asp that classifies people into three categories:

A raw egg type: people who have a hard outer exterior, but once their shell is cracked or broken they start to fall apart.

A jelly type: people who are soft, with no emotional barriers and easily manipulated .

An onion type: people who have emotional layers and permit others in, when they are worthy to be trusted with their inner emotions.

So under which type do you fall in? and which type of people you are more comfortable with?

An Onion Model for Relationships Management

Past months led me to think deeply on how I view relationships and what do they mean to me. Since a big portion of my brain is built into analysis & modeling I came up with this analogy; relationships are wrapped into layers similar to onion layers. My onion is made up of five layers: the central layer is my relationship with myself, then in sequence, comes precious people layer, friends layer, duty layer and acquaintances layer.

My relation with myself is the core for all my other relationships. Getting to know myself, accepting, and loving her is my ultimate quest in life. It is not narcissism nor selfishness. My argument for this point is:

• If I don't know myself well, how would I let others know me...
• If I don't accept myself as it is with all my shortcoming & defaults, who would accept me ...
• If I don't love myself who would love me...
• If I don't cherish myself, who would cherish me...

My second layer is designated for my precious ones; the ones who I love unconditionally, accept them as they are. For them I do anything to maintain their well being and growth in life. I am there for them without them asking. This layer is for loved ones & a partner.

Then comes the friends layer, friends who I trust, love and care about. Friends who are an added value to my life.

The forth layer comes for duty relations; people who I am obliged to care for out of duty but not love. Some family members or old friends could fall into this category.

Last layer is for acquaintances; people who I share an interest or a hobby with, colleagues at work, etc...People who are nice to know.

Having this perspective has helped me to prioritize my resources accordingly; specially time, love & attention.

One more thing, since the only constant in life is change, therefore, people in these layers are not static. They are not placed in any given layer for a lifetime; their status is upgradable or downgrade-able. Usually downgrading is accompanied with grief process. Upgrading requires time, trust & effort and it is something I am very precocious about simply because I don't let go easily. Who would take loosing & grieving easily!

May we have fruitful relations in our life & may the bad ones make from us better people (not bitter).

Cheers

A Part Of You, A Part Of Me

Relationships do touch us deeply; adding to our personality, introducing new habits, teaching us what matters most, etc... We would never be the same afterwords, this poem "A Part Of You, A Part Of Me" say it all.



Every moment that we are together,
I am learning something,
and that knowledge becomes a permanent part of me.

Though my feelings will be different a year from now,
or ten years from now, part of the difference is you.

Because of you, I am a different person,
and the person I will grow to become
will have gotten there partly because of you.

If you were not in my life right now,
I could not be who I am right now,
nor would I be growing in exactly the same way.

I don't worry about our future together,
sine we have already touched each other
and affected each other's lives on so many levels
that we can never be totally removed from one another.

A part of me will always be with you,
and a part of you will always be with me.
That much is certain, no matter what else happens.


p.s. I am not sure if Larry S. Chengges has written this poem!

Loss of Hearing My Inner Voice

It has been a very very long time since I had a day to myself. On Friday, I went down to Wadi Mujib for an overnight. Here is how I spent my perfect 24 hours!

While driving I was listening & singing some of my favorite oldies & enjoying the scenery along the road. Immediately after checking in around 4 pm I laid down on the hammock facing dead sea. I started eating Man'aoush half zaa'tar & half cheese :-) yummy yummy. How humanity could survive without zaa'tar :-)

I rocked myself (on the hammock) from one side to another till 9 pm. I was not reading, nor listening to music... I was just observing silence, sea, mountains, sunset, darkness, stars....filling my soul with peace.

I went inside my room assuming that I am gonna sleep on the spot, instead I read till 10:30. Next morning, the minute I opened my eyes & for 2 hours tugged under a blanket, laying on the hammock I felt & enjoyed the early sun light & cool breath. After breakfast, I took some pictures of the area & went down to the sea level with my book. I kept on tossing under the sun like a Shwerma on a grill & reading till 4:30 pm. I finished the novel :-) then I went back to my room packed & laid again on my hummock singing my gratitude prayer.

I uprooted myself to leave... left craving for more. Despite this unfulfilled feeling & the short period, I managed to see a tremendous change of how I was feeling before & after. A soul make over!

I can't believe of all what I know about myself, I managed to clutter my inner self with daze, chaos and noise. To extent I have hard time hearing my inner voice. I lost my serenity & connection with myself. I lost my best friend. What terrified me most, is that when I considered going alone a feeling of of aloneness & loneliness overwhelmed me. Which I never had before...I do maintain & restore my balance when I am alone.

For months I had this nagging need of spending time in nature by myself or with just one friend. My daily working out is not enough any more to maintain my serenity. Exercising in a gym is not a meditating routine… not like walking outdoors. Staying in my house for a couple of hours now & then is not enough... I could not any longer digest & reflect on all these events, emotions, & people around me.

I transformed my life from a life revolving around a few precious people to a life full of people & social events. I no longer could manage a balance between time for myself & time for others.

I know my reasons for postponing spending time alone but it is not an excuses to permit myself to reach such a stage. These noises & chaotic emotions that fills my soul have to end. I want my best friend & true self back.

It is just one corrective action that I need to take: Plenty of out door activities alone

My recipe for a perfect day consists of:

• Being in nature, near water is an added value
• Enjoying silence
• Hearing my inner voice
• Reading a good book
• Eating yummy food
• Listing my blessings

May our souls be blessed with serenity, peace & connection with our true selves.
more photos

Memorable quotation from Brick Lane (2007)

No one told me there are different kinds of love. The kind that starts deep (big) and slowly wears away; that seems you will never use it up and then one day it is finished. Then there is the kind you do not notice at first but which adds a little bit to itself every day like an oyster makes a pearl, grain by grain, a jewel from the sand. That is the kind I have come to know.

Run Lola Run

"Man... probably the most mysterious species on our planet. A mystery of unanswered questions. Who are we? Where do we come from? Where are we going? How do we know what we think we know? Why do we believe anything at all? Countless questions in search of an answer... an answer that will give rise to a new question... and the next answer will give rise to the next question and so on. But, in the end, isn't it always the same question? And always the same answer?"

Our life can be altered by 20 seconds, by people we meet, by sequence of events....This is what the movie is all about.