Past months led me to think deeply on how I view relationships and what do they mean to me. Since a big portion of my brain is built into analysis & modeling I came up with this analogy; relationships are wrapped into layers similar to onion layers. My onion is made up of five layers: the central layer is my relationship with myself, then in sequence, comes precious people layer, friends layer, duty layer and acquaintances layer.
My relation with myself is the core for all my other relationships. Getting to know myself, accepting, and loving her is my ultimate quest in life. It is not narcissism nor selfishness. My argument for this point is:
- If I don't know myself well, how would I let others know me...
- If I don't accept myself as it is with all my shortcoming & defaults, who would accept me ...
- If I don't love myself who would love me...
- If I don't cherish myself, who would cherish me...
My second layer is designated for my precious ones; the ones who I love unconditionally, accept them as they are. For them I do anything to maintain their well being and growth in life. I am there for them without them asking. This layer is for loved ones & a partner.
Then comes the friends layer, friends who I trust, love and care about. Friends who are an added value to my life.
The forth layer comes for duty relations; people who I am obliged to care for out of duty but not love. Some family members or old friends could fall into this category.
Last layer is for acquaintances; people who I share an interest or a hobby with, colleagues at work, etc...People who are nice to know.
Having this perspective has helped me to prioritize my resources accordingly; specially time, love & attention.
One more thing, since the only constant in life is change, therefore, people in these layers are not static. They are not placed in any given layer for a lifetime; their status is upgradable or downgrade-able. Usually downgrading is accompanied with grief process. Upgrading requires time, trust & effort and it is something I am very precocious about simply because I don't let go easily. Who would take loosing & grieving easily!
May we have fruitful relations in our life & may the bad ones make from us better people (not bitter).
Cheers
Then comes the friends layer, friends who I trust, love and care about. Friends who are an added value to my life.
The forth layer comes for duty relations; people who I am obliged to care for out of duty but not love. Some family members or old friends could fall into this category.
Last layer is for acquaintances; people who I share an interest or a hobby with, colleagues at work, etc...People who are nice to know.
Having this perspective has helped me to prioritize my resources accordingly; specially time, love & attention.
One more thing, since the only constant in life is change, therefore, people in these layers are not static. They are not placed in any given layer for a lifetime; their status is upgradable or downgrade-able. Usually downgrading is accompanied with grief process. Upgrading requires time, trust & effort and it is something I am very precocious about simply because I don't let go easily. Who would take loosing & grieving easily!
May we have fruitful relations in our life & may the bad ones make from us better people (not bitter).
Cheers
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