Rumi - Only Breath

Not Christian or Jew or Muslim, not Hindu,
Buddhist, sufi, or zen. Not any religion
or cultural system.
I am not from the East...or the West, not out of the ocean or up
from the ground, not natural or ethereal, not composed of elements at all.
I do not exist,  am not an entity in this world or the next,
did not descend from Adam and Eve or any  origin story. 
My place is placeless, a trace of the traceless. Neither body or soul.
I belong to the beloved, have seen the two worlds as one and that one call to and know,
first, last, outer, inner, only that breath breathing human being.
There is a way between voice and presence where information flows
In disciplined silence it opens. 
With wandering talk it closes.

Love Relationship Themes

If we pause and contemplate on each relations we had as adults, we will figure out that each one has a central issue about it. Each theme holds a different suffering to go through. I am sure there are more themes but at least what I am aware of are:

Begging Theme
I love you, I will do anything for you
I love you, please stay
I love you, I will never love again like I love you
I love you, I will take good care of you
I love you, please don't go

Hurt Theme
I love you but please stop doing XXX it hurts me
I love you but please I am not feeling well of doing XXX
I love you could we please not do this any more
I love you but I can't take it any more
I love you but please give me space

Shame Theme
I love you but I can't stay with you
I love you but my belief & values don't allow me to be with you
I love you but what we are doing is wrong
I love you but my family, friends, neighbors will start to talk
I love you but I feel ashamed of us
I love you but my guilt is larger than my love

I Don't Care Theme
I love you but I am not interested in whatever you are interested in
I love you but can I watch TV now
I love you but I can't join you at your parents dinner
I love you but I have work to do
I love you but sorry I did not get you anything for your birthday

Sexless Theme
I love you but don't kiss me
I love you but I don't feel like making love tonight
I love you but could you just hug me
I love you but I don't know why I can not touch you

Some could be totally unlucky to experience two themes in the same relations; then their agony & hurt is doubled. But most cases will be a mix of one of the above themes & Love theme.
Any how, each theme teach us a lesson and gives us more insight of what we want in life.


p.s.
I left the Love theme till then then because it is my day dream one :-)

Love Theme
I love you.... I love you too
I care about you..... I care more
I want you.... I can't take my hands off you
I want to go out with my friends... I want to visit my parents
I am coming home early... my my what a romantic dinner
I want to join you @ your parents dinner... I want to be with you when you pick your sister
I want to leave my Job... I will help you finding a better one
I miss you... I will pick you up
I will pick the laundry... I will cook
I will massage your back.... could you please do my head too
Where will we travel this year?....em em China
Dance with me? .... I melt in your arms
You make me laugh.. you bring me joy
What do you think is a proper reaction... I guess you'll have to apologize
What is your new fantasy? .... To be a :-) to do :-)

I guess my definition of  Love is a tango of friendship filled with passion & lived with romantic moments.

I go back to my day dream.

Enjoy the Silence

Please read:

Writteninformationwithnoorganisedbreaksmakescomprehensiondifficult

Wellplannedtextwithgoodsentenceandparagraphconstructionwillaidthe readersabilitytounderstandtheinformationtherein.

Was it easy to read? to digest? to comprehend?

This is exactly how we do feel when we don't take any mental break in day(s)/ weeks/ months/ years. We lose connections with our inner self, we don't have enough time to digest & reflect on what is going on with our life, or in which areas we are changing, what are our values, the worse it to reach a point where we ask ourselves who we are?!

Now, here is the same sentence with organised breaks …
Written information, with no organised breaks, makes comprehension difficult. Well-planned text, with good sentence and paragraph construction, will aid the reader's ability to understand the information therein.

I bet it is much easier to read and digest without stress.

These breaks between words are silence... Silence is ssssssssssssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhh; no chats, no TV, no radio... It could be by laying down before bed or staying in bed early upone wake up, or while watching sunset. Silence has no settings or position.
In silence there is an opportunity to observe thoughts and examine what pops up whether they are ideas, concerns, worries, people, emotions, etc.. Silence is a meter for examining life. Sometimes, after the silence agitation could be experienced, meditation & breathing could be used to return the inner self to peace & serenity status.





May we enjoy the silence.

Adapted from http://www.positivepath.net/ideasCJ7.asp

What are you, a raw egg, a jelly or an onion?

After writing my last post "An Onion Model for Relationships Management", I found this article http://www.positivepath.net/ideasCJ9.asp that classifies people into three categories:

A raw egg type: people who have a hard outer exterior, but once their shell is cracked or broken they start to fall apart.

A jelly type: people who are soft, with no emotional barriers and easily manipulated .

An onion type: people who have emotional layers and permit others in, when they are worthy to be trusted with their inner emotions.

So under which type do you fall in? and which type of people you are more comfortable with?

An Onion Model for Relationships Management

Past months led me to think deeply on how I view relationships and what do they mean to me. Since a big portion of my brain is built into analysis & modeling I came up with this analogy; relationships are wrapped into layers similar to onion layers. My onion is made up of five layers: the central layer is my relationship with myself, then in sequence, comes precious people layer, friends layer, duty layer and acquaintances layer.

My relation with myself is the core for all my other relationships. Getting to know myself, accepting, and loving her is my ultimate quest in life. It is not narcissism nor selfishness. My argument for this point is:

• If I don't know myself well, how would I let others know me...
• If I don't accept myself as it is with all my shortcoming & defaults, who would accept me ...
• If I don't love myself who would love me...
• If I don't cherish myself, who would cherish me...

My second layer is designated for my precious ones; the ones who I love unconditionally, accept them as they are. For them I do anything to maintain their well being and growth in life. I am there for them without them asking. This layer is for loved ones & a partner.

Then comes the friends layer, friends who I trust, love and care about. Friends who are an added value to my life.

The forth layer comes for duty relations; people who I am obliged to care for out of duty but not love. Some family members or old friends could fall into this category.

Last layer is for acquaintances; people who I share an interest or a hobby with, colleagues at work, etc...People who are nice to know.

Having this perspective has helped me to prioritize my resources accordingly; specially time, love & attention.

One more thing, since the only constant in life is change, therefore, people in these layers are not static. They are not placed in any given layer for a lifetime; their status is upgradable or downgrade-able. Usually downgrading is accompanied with grief process. Upgrading requires time, trust & effort and it is something I am very precocious about simply because I don't let go easily. Who would take loosing & grieving easily!

May we have fruitful relations in our life & may the bad ones make from us better people (not bitter).

Cheers